juliagladys (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} juliagladys) wrote,@ 2007-08-05 19:32:00 |
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Bonya Binna (Respect Fell/Failed)
It is hard for me to accept the fact that the Malians I repect are promiscous, men and women alike. I want to believe that those I look up to have the same standards as I do. This causes me to reevaluate what I consider to be my standards. Does this bother me because Mali supposedly has a conservative muslim culture. I don’t think it would be so bad if they were unmarried, but these Malian men, even with their two plus wives are still hanging around with younger girls and I want to believe thay are just good friends with these young ladies, but I know there is no such thing as “just food friends” between men and women in Mali. Or there is, but it usually involves sex.
Yesterday my homologue took me to see his new house. I like and repect my homologue, I’ll admit I even had a crush on him. He never really treated me sleazy like a lot of Malian men would and have. I respected him all the more for that. He just got married a couple weeks ago. I went to meet his wife, see his house, and gossip about work counterparts. It was a nice time and all, even though his wife wasn’t super friendly toward me or said anything or even smiled at me.
After that we stopped by the hospital to pick up something and Daffe (my homologue) walks up to this girl he obviously knows and starts chatting away. The girl stands up and takes his hand and they stand there talking hand in hand. I was very uncomfortable. I wanted to say: please, be professional! I don’t want to think less of you because of what I’m seeing right now. When we left the hospital to take me home we saw the same girl again and stopped to talk to her again, erasing all doubt in my mind that something was going on between them.
A similar fall from grace happened to me before in Diabaly when my friend Abba came back from a month in Bamako, the capital. We were talking about all the clubs we like to go to when he comes out with how great it is to be at the club with three hot girls sitting around him. Then he tells me think thinks me teammate Sarah is hot (a ka kalan deh!).
Abba is a father figure to me; hearing about his promenades in Bamako was bad enough. It was so much worse seeing him in action, in Diabaly, in his own house, in front of his wife and kids. It made me sick. Anyway, there was definately something going on between him and a neighbor girl. We would all be at this house watching TV and his conversation/explaination was targeted just for her. Any time a team scored a goal or anything noteworthy happened in the latin soap opera, he would use it as an excuse to touch her. I was uncomfortable for his wife, but she just sort of pretended like she was being the family friend she was. What else could she do?
Even my supervisor, when she came to visit me, flirted shamelessly with my male co-workers. Is it too much to ask for a so called professional to act that way? Do they think that Americans have looser standards, judging by what they’ve seen on TV, and as a result feel they can be more open with me? Or is that just the way Mali is and I’m overly sensitive about it?
Whatever the situation may turn out to be, I still don’t want to believe that these professionals, father figures, mentors, and supervisors aren’t any different from the common Malian sleaze balls I have to deal with on a daily basis.
It is hard for me to accept the fact that the Malians I repect are promiscous, men and women alike. I want to believe that those I look up to have the same standards as I do. This causes me to reevaluate what I consider to be my standards. Does this bother me because Mali supposedly has a conservative muslim culture. I don’t think it would be so bad if they were unmarried, but these Malian men, even with their two plus wives are still hanging around with younger girls and I want to believe thay are just good friends with these young ladies, but I know there is no such thing as “just food friends” between men and women in Mali. Or there is, but it usually involves sex.
Yesterday my homologue took me to see his new house. I like and repect my homologue, I’ll admit I even had a crush on him. He never really treated me sleazy like a lot of Malian men would and have. I respected him all the more for that. He just got married a couple weeks ago. I went to meet his wife, see his house, and gossip about work counterparts. It was a nice time and all, even though his wife wasn’t super friendly toward me or said anything or even smiled at me.
After that we stopped by the hospital to pick up something and Daffe (my homologue) walks up to this girl he obviously knows and starts chatting away. The girl stands up and takes his hand and they stand there talking hand in hand. I was very uncomfortable. I wanted to say: please, be professional! I don’t want to think less of you because of what I’m seeing right now. When we left the hospital to take me home we saw the same girl again and stopped to talk to her again, erasing all doubt in my mind that something was going on between them.
A similar fall from grace happened to me before in Diabaly when my friend Abba came back from a month in Bamako, the capital. We were talking about all the clubs we like to go to when he comes out with how great it is to be at the club with three hot girls sitting around him. Then he tells me think thinks me teammate Sarah is hot (a ka kalan deh!).
Abba is a father figure to me; hearing about his promenades in Bamako was bad enough. It was so much worse seeing him in action, in Diabaly, in his own house, in front of his wife and kids. It made me sick. Anyway, there was definately something going on between him and a neighbor girl. We would all be at this house watching TV and his conversation/explaination was targeted just for her. Any time a team scored a goal or anything noteworthy happened in the latin soap opera, he would use it as an excuse to touch her. I was uncomfortable for his wife, but she just sort of pretended like she was being the family friend she was. What else could she do?
Even my supervisor, when she came to visit me, flirted shamelessly with my male co-workers. Is it too much to ask for a so called professional to act that way? Do they think that Americans have looser standards, judging by what they’ve seen on TV, and as a result feel they can be more open with me? Or is that just the way Mali is and I’m overly sensitive about it?
Whatever the situation may turn out to be, I still don’t want to believe that these professionals, father figures, mentors, and supervisors aren’t any different from the common Malian sleaze balls I have to deal with on a daily basis.
